"We think of non mothers as rangy lone wolves - rattling around, as dangerous as teenage boys or men. We make women feel that their narrative has ground to a halt in their 30's if they don't 'finish things' properly and have children.
The inference of the word 'childless' is negative - one of loss or lack.
Men and women have convinced themselves of a dragging belief that somehow, women are incomplete without children"
I don't think that I am wrong not to have had children - and lets get real here there are greats like Katharine Hepburn, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Bettie White, Chelsea Handler, Stevie Nicks, Ashley Judd, Kim Cattrell, Candace Bushnell, Elizabeth Gilbert and Dame Helen Mirren who all don't have kids and are no worse off for it...I love Dame Helens quote on it...
"It was not my destiny, I kept thinking it would be, waiting for it to happen, but it never did, and I didn't care what people thought...It was only boring old men [who would ask me]. And whenever they went, "what? No children? Well you'd better get on with it, old girl" I'd say "No! F**k Off"" —Dame Helen Mirren, British Vogue February 2013
I feel like this - I never made a choice not to have kids - I did make a choice to not do it alone and I guess being single for so long now the choice has been made for me. A few years back, when I retired for the Seadoo store I had set up and ran for so many years, many people told me upon telling "oh great now you can have children" - um hello - I was retiring from something that had yes brought me many laughs and adventures but I got out after 10 years - that is only half the sentence till a touch of freedom is recovered after deciding to have a child. And I was not a spring chicken back then - I had the chance to live my life for me and I was going to do the right (selfish) thing and live it - all of it - I had a lot of lost ground to make up for.
I am sure I will be asked if I regret not having children - I am not sure if 'regret' is the right word to use. I would have loved to have at least one kid - once upon a time there was the plan to get married and have kids. But there is the catch in the whole concept - to get married - or at least be with someone who wants to be with you long enough to bring a child to adulthood. I wasn't going to risk bringing a child into the world that like me would have had little to no contact with their father (granted that is my choice now but there is a valid reason). I have said for a long time "that it takes 2 to create a child because that is the minimum required to raise them"
Anyway all is not lost - I am sure that one day in the future I will meet a man that will fit most of the wants I have (getting a 100% would frankly be impossible) and lets get real here - I can't imagine there will be many in my age demographic that won't have a kid somewhere! I can then have the best of it all - be a parent to a child / young adult and have a guy without the extra stress of having to go through the baby thing. Truth be told new born babies are terrifying little creatures - and I am sorry - they are not adorable - they are all wrinkled and crinkled and floppy and all weird looking - sorta funny they put em in a "bucket" to take them anywhere.
Don't get me wrong - to the people out there that are parents - I take my hat off to you - I don't know how you do it! It is a dedication and commitment beyond what I am capable of. You have to go through so much just to see them take their first breath and work so hard to ensure that you take your last before them. And everything in between is a combination of excitement, reward and frustration - well if they are anything like how I was growing up.
I am a big kid. A selfish big kid that doesn't want to share her toys - but has so much to offer the kids that do come into my life. Being an aunty is pretty special too you know :)
If you want to read the article "25 Famous Women on Childlessness" check it out here
http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/08/25-famous-women-on-childlessness.html